Nancy Wender, LCSW Psychotherapy and the Fellowship Program As a psychotherapist in private practice, it is not often that I have the privilege to expand my horizons in such a profound and meaningful way. I have been able to do this by meeting with each of the past 24 Inbound Fellows for three sessions (later expanded to four sessions) of psychotherapy, pro bono. Each Fellow spent one month in New York as part of apex’s cultural immersion program. This essay will discuss the Fellows’ experiences, highlight some of my observations and discuss, from my vantage point, the efficacy of the apexart program. My Role as Therapist In part, I saw my role as trying to help them ascertain the value of the experience within which they found themselves in New York City. Many of them felt alone, got lost often and had to grapple with the loneliness of missing their families. Twenty of the 24 Fellows either were married or were currently in a committed relationship, and nine had children. They were able to Skype with their families as often as was feasible and call when desired. Families were encouraged to read the respective journals, as another window into their family member’s experiences. This contact was very meaningful to them and provided some sense of grounding and familiarity while they were embarking on many new daily experiences. They have stepped out of their regular lives for one month, could not work while here and were asked to focus solely on the activities they were scheduled to do. Rare an opportunity it was, to put one’s life and concerns to the side for that length of time. Disorienting for some, invigorating and freeing to others, to be sure. I believe that part of my responsibility was to bridge the gap between their home and New York. In psychological terms, their sessions with me were their transitional object, imbued with meaning on many levels. They spoke at length about their families, wives or husbands, girlfriends or boyfriends, their children and friends. We viewed photos of their work, their families and other images important to them. The one-on-one time with me, three or four one-hour sessions each, gave them my undivided attention, support, encouragement and an opportunity for introspection and reflection. They were afforded the chance to speak in English without being rushed or pressured and could do so in a quiet, soothing environment that would support their effort. I believe that it was important to ask about their lives previous to coming to New York, and in recounting the narrative of their lives, they came away with a deeper appreciation for their own struggles and the resilience and courage that they brought to the apex experience. I was able to bear witness to these heroic efforts. A few of the Fellows came into their sessions with important issues they wanted to discuss, be it a relationship issue, a career conundrum or confusion about the desired focus of their lives. Others were willing to talk more generally about their lives and goals but without the desire to probe in a deeper manner. Whatever was helpful to them was what I chose to honor. Three spoke of their desire to find a therapist when they arrive home, as they noted that being in my office was an important touchstone going forward in life and trying to resolve conflicts with help from a psychotherapist. Cultural and Language Differences Culturally, I found some interesting differences: South Koreans do not make eye contact when speaking with others, and over time, the Fellows felt more comfortable adapting and learning to do so. More than one Fellow came from a culture where women were expected to be in the home and tend to their families rather than work, this in stark contrast to our ever-changing roles for women in the States. One Fellow had not traveled out of his country nor had been on an airplane before his Fellowship experience. Another had not been away from his wife and son before this time. Others had family or spousal support, while others arrived with the skepticism and fear of their families looming large. Over time, this too was abated, and they were able to let those close to them know that they were doing well, were safe and were enjoying and/or being challenged by their experiences. Fellow Journals/Blogs Volunteerism apex Fellowship as a Transformational Experience Time took on a new meaning for them. Plucking them from their everyday lives, families, schedules and goals, they were free to examine their lives in ways without pressure. One female Fellow mentioned that her life at home is finely calibrated to get many things done in the course of a day, and by being here, she could suspend those activities and enjoy the freedom that was afforded her. Also, she was able to reflect on the path her life was taking and perhaps make some changes upon arriving home. One Fellow commented, “New York is heaven on earth… I can take photos here, wherein my country, I have to ask permission to do that.” Another reflected on the fact that within two weeks of being here, he was routinely being asked for directions. He felt gratified by feeling at ease here, and others noticed his confidence of movement through the streets and on the subway and felt comfortable approaching him. Each Fellow prepared, or in some cases did not prepare, for their residency before arriving here. One purposefully did not watch videos or movies or read any books about New York, just wanting to arrive with no expectations, absorb the experience and take each day as it came. Others spoke with friends who lived in or traveled to New York, so as to understand their experiences as a potential guide. A few of the Fellows had been to the United States previously, so they had more realistic a picture of what they might encounter upon their arrival in New York. One Fellow recounted that New York offers more freedom than he finds in his country, and people smile here. Therefore, he noted there is less tension here, and it seems relaxed to him, vis-à-vis his home city. I heard often their bewilderment about what the apex Fellowship was all about. Was it a quid pro quo, for example? They found it hard to believe that this experience did not call for them to give something in return, other than their willingness to keep to their schedule, be open-minded and attempt new things. Some embraced the improvisation class, the karaoke event, singing with a group by the water, observation of a trial in progress at the courthouse, a volunteer activity, for example, while others had trepidations about participating. In these cases, they felt it was okay to observe with the knowledge that they may have wished to be a part of the group, had their fear subsided. I was amazed and delighted by their newfound confidence and growth, though, over the month’s residency. We discussed what value the apex experience might hold for them, and I found it important to comment that it might only be with time and distance that this experience can be reflected upon and its value ascertained. Several of the Fellows have maintained contact with me since returning home. I have seen photos of their travels, news of their art activities and projects, updates about their thinking since we last met. The Fellows were invited to Skype or e-mail should they want to pursue discussions about a particular topic once they were integrated back into their normal routine. Observations Things that the Fellows found interesting during their travels through New York City and the boroughs were fascinating to me. The photos--the light, angles, objects and perspective from which they chose to shoot for their Journals--were things we New Yorkers take for granted everyday. A reminder to view the mundane in a new, invigorated light. Several Fellows commented on feeling such gratitude for the good things in their lives, despite, in some cases, some challenging situations from which they came. This is the human condition but one that is valuable for us to keep in mind, as we strive to put life in perspective. I learned many things during these sessions: different languages, cultures, different worldviews, resilience in the face of unspeakable losses and grand triumphs. I learned about Raku, the Japanese cracked glazes on ceramics, via a video the Fellow sent to me. Another helped me understand the printing methods he uses in his work. Another Fellow shared some of her wonderful writing with me, and the pieces gave me a wider lens with which to understand this Fellow’s inner world. Efficacy of the apexart Fellowship Program Several of the Fellows commented upon their desire to be hosts in their countries for the Outbound Fellows from the New York City area. A tribute to the value of the apexart program. Conclusion For me, the desire to give back increased with each Fellow I saw, and I am grateful for this splendid opportunity and look forward to meeting with the future Fellows as they arrive for their upcoming month’s residencies. order from Amazon, ITunes or directly from apexart
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